Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
