You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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