bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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