you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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