I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
