i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
