mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
soo... how was my night?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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