I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
