You were right. It hurts to walk today.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
