I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Randomize
