So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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