what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
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I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
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See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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