i think i have two assholes
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
