you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
