well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
