hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
