I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
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I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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