I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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