a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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