Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
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surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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