You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
