I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
