Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize