So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
