break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
