I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
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