whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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