the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize