last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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