Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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