He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
