Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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