Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize