OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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