Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
