you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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