We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Randomize
