What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
