smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i wish my penis had a tongue
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
