Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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