Don't make out with my wife yet
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
