Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize