thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
