Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
