No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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