U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
