My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
