So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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