I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
