Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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