omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
My first STD was from a foam party
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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