you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
