and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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