You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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