dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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