your parents love me but you hate me
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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