Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I've blown a few things in my day
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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