His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
