Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Randomize
