I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
The power of my boobs compel you
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
