My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
