I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
