My boss' voice literally gives me gas
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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