u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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